The Christmas Spirit

It has been 9 years since my mother passed away and this Christmas has been the most difficult that I remember in all that time. I have missed her so often during the past several months and I am not sure exactly why. I have really struggled to have the holiday spirit, however this past week I had some experiences that have made it a little easier to open my heart.
The first happened a few days ago. I was walking out of the office after a really crazy day at work. I just wanted to get to the car and go home. I passed a woman and a little girl who appeared to be about 4 years old. The little girl was singing at the top of her lungs,
“Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town!”
The next experience happened today in Sacrament Meeting. There was a special musical number performed by the Matthew and Zachary Zalar along with their mother. It was a medley of Christmas hymns and Matthew played the violin. I wasn’t prepared for the feelings that rushed into my heart. I thought of my mother and how when I was younger, we would do the same kind of things. Both Bobbye and I cried and cried.
After church, as I was putting the nursery toys away, I saw Savanna Prince walking down the hall. She had candy from the Bishop’s office in her hand as she greeted me with a huge smile. I hugged her and asked her if she was excited for Christmas. She said that she was and she was looking forward to getting presents. I agreed with her that it was fun to get presents at Christmas. As she followed me into the nursery classroom, she said, “Sylvia, Christmas is Jesus’ birthday and WE get the presents!”
It took me a few minutes to fully comprehend what she said. As I did the tears began to flow once again. I am thankful for the wisdom of a 5 year old. This Christmas I hope each and every one of you remember how blessed you are because Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ gave US all the presents. May your hearts truly rejoice during this wonderful holiday season.

I've Been Tagged...Games I don't play well...

Maura, http://www.pamperedprincessmaura.blogspot/, tagged me. I will confess right now that I don't play games like this very well. I may be amending the rules somewhat because there are just some games I stink at and this is one of them. My understanding of this game is that I must

a) link to the person that tagged me.

b)mention the rules of the game

c)tell six quirks about myself

d)tag six other people

e)comment on their blogs to let them know they have been tagged



I am hoping so far that I have accomplished the first two rules. So on to the quirks...



1. I love to do dishes. A clean kitchen makes me so happy. Cooking the meal is fine and I enjoy that too, but cleaning up the kitchen and making things organized and sparkling just really satisfies me. The rest of the house can be in total chaos, but if the kitchen is clean and organized, then I am a happy camper. I like to cook, but refuse to do so in a dirty kitchen. So in our house, that means, Eric does most of the cooking! About once a month, I get really frustrated and attack it with all my might. That cleaning lasts for a week or so and then it is trashed again. Since returning to work full time 8 years ago, I have had to learn the art of selective neglect. I selectively neglect this dirty kitchen because I have more important things that need to be done in my limited time. This habit has saved my marriage since I am married to "Messy Marvin".



2. I hate to leave home. I know this may sound odd, but I could stay home for days on end. Those of you who have been to my house, know that I have everything anyone could ever want or need so I wouldn't have to go out for a long time! I have noticed that this is an interesting paradox, because all my life, I have had to be gone from home. My secret desire is to be locked in my home for a month...oh, the things I could get done!

I have had tremendous opportunities to travel and each time I have a trip coming up, I get really nervous. I just hate to leave. This doesn't stop me from going and having a great time, but I really enjoy coming home.



3. I have really weird sleeping patterns. When I was younger, I considered myself a "night person". I functioned the best between 10pm and 2am. This didn't work well while I was in school. After I got married, I had a few years when I could still stay up late and sleep in. When I started back to work full time, I had to learn to go to bed early and get up early. Usually I am asleep before 10pm and I get up around 5am. Sometimes, I wake up even earlier. This happens frequently on the weekends. I have found that I get a lot done early on Saturday morning because everyone else is asleep.



4. I have a fear of drowning. Not so intense that it keeps me out of or away from water. In fact I love the water. It is just every now and then when I am driving across a bridge, I think about the car plummeting into the water and what I would do. Part of me thinks I would try to escape and then another part of me thinks I would just let go and surrender myself to the deep. I hope I never have to actually face that fear. When I was a little girl, we lived in eastern Pennsylvania and we would have to drive to one of my parent's friends houses a lot. She was an elderly lady named Sister Jonnsen. The road to get there was narrow and winding. On one side was a river. I would be scared every time we drove on the side of the road closest to the river especially in winter when the roads were covered with ice and snow.

5. I have a two new loves...Cruising and Florida. After having such a great time on my recent vacation, I have spent hours dreaming and planning about a return trip. I am totally in love with Florida. Now I am smart enough to know that I don't want to go there in the summer, nor do I really want to live there--way too hot! But just like Utah, a visit now and then is perfect.

6. I have two things that I have never done, but would like to do before I die. I have never been to Disneyworld (or Disneyland for that matter). I would like to go there just once. Not to ride the rides but just to experience the atmosphere of "The Happiest Place on Earth". Of course it would be fun to sleep overnight in the Princess castle! The other thing I have never done, but would love to do is to attend the Tucson Gem Show which is held every year in February. It is one of the premiere gem trade shows in the world. It is strictly for business owners so I will have to either know someone or have my own business. About ten years ago, Eric's mother got to go to the show with her Sister in Law who owns a quilt shop in Tucson. She bought me a really neat sterling silver and opal ring. She told me that there is so much to see you can't even see it all. I just want to see all the gems.

Ok. so here is where I don't play the game too well. I am going to "freeze" on tagging anyone else. Number one, I don't know how to link people. Number two, I am sure that it is so late in the game that everyone I know has already been tagged. So thanks for reading my quirks. Feel free to comment and know that you are all safe...there'll be no tags from me!

The Extreme Gardner Girls Conference

As many of you know, I just returned from attending the Extreme Gardner Girls Conferece. I am hoping that this will become an annual event. Last Fall my sister, Debra decided that as sisters we needed to take a vacation together. She arranged for us to take a cruise to the Caribbean and told us to get our passports and make arrangements to get to Florida. This conference was a year in the making and well worth all the sacrifices made to attend. Debra wanted this trip to allow us to bond together in a special way. I was thankful for the chance to spend more time with Laura because she is our newest sister and though I took care of her when she was three, I didn't really know her as a grown up.

Traveling with Bobbye is always an adventure. For those of you who have not had the experience, let me just say that if you like to melt into the background, don't travel with Bobbye. Everyone knows who you are when you are with her. This trip was no exception. Margaret, Bobbye and I flew down to Florida on Saturday Oct. 25th. We were picked up from the airport by the hotel shuttle. The driver immediately played a joke on us by telling us it was his first day driving and he wasn't sure how to get back to the hotel. We found out later that Debra (who was the first to arrive) had arranged for him to play a trick on Bobbye when he picked us up. Soon we were joined by Martha, Mary and Laura who were flying in from Salt Lake. Then the laughter began...

Sunday morning we attended Sacrament Meeting at a local ward. The ward choir director was sitting in the pew in front of us. When she heard us sing, she asked if we were moving into the ward. Sorry, just visiting! That afternoon, we drove down by the beach and ate lunch at this cafe which had booths that were on gliders. It was fun to feel the breeze and listen to the ocean as we ate lunch.

Monday morning we took the shuttle to Port Everglades where we checked in and boarded our cruise ship. There were lots of people there, but it was organized really well and soon we were greeted by Royal Caribbean staff directing us to the lunch buffet on the pool deck. Our staterooms were not ready yet so we went up there and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. As we sat at our table eating, laughing and visiting, I marvelled at the fact that I was actually on a cruise ship for the first time ever!

Before too long, we were leaving the port and our cruise was underway. Tuesday morning we were in Key West. It was very windy and a little chilly however, I got some really great pictures from the top deck of the ship.

Wednesday we were in Cozumel, Mexico where we booked a shore excursion called the Deluxe beach break. They took us to this resort and we got to sit on the beach for a few hours. It was partly cloudy there so the temperature was perfect.

Thursday we were in Belize City, Belize. We took an excursion to the Mayan ruins. It was an hour by bus and then another hour and a half by boat up the Belize River. The site where the temples were was really neat, but it was definately in the jungle. There was a lot of mud, rocky terrain and bugs.

Friday was Halloween and we were cruising all day. It was fun to just hang out on the ship and visit. There were lots of activities going on and we spent the day enjoying each other's company.All too soon, we were back in Ft. Lauderdale. We spent Saturday together and we all headed for home on Sunday morning. I was so thankful to Debra for having the inspiration to plan and organize such a wonderful outing. I am thankful for my sisters and for the opportunity of spending time with them in such a unique setting. After the holidays we are going to plan our next conference. I am sure it will be another wonderful event. I also want to give a special thanks to Bobbye. Many of you knew my mother and what a special woman she was. She always made us feel important and loved. I am so thankful for Bobbye because she has the same attitude toward us. I am thankful that she loves me so much. She was a major contributor in making the Extreme Gardner Girls Conference a success.

I learned many things from attending this conference. First of all: The Gardner Girls Rock! We are all awesome, talented, funny, smart and beautiful women. Second: It is important to take time to do things with the ones you love regardless of the sacrifices you have to make. Third: Cruising is a great way to vacation. I have never felt so pampered in all my life. I am looking forward to taking Eric on a cruise someday.

THE MARCH OF THE PINK PRINCESS

The other day I took a few minutes to read some blogs. As I was reading "Through Rose-colored Glasses" I realized that it had been a really long time since I had posted. The main reason for this is because I have been focusing on my fitness goals and also some other personal goals. Sorry for my long absence...

Wednesday as I was doing my in home walking with Leslie Sansone (4 fast miles) I realized for the first time in my life, I actually set a goal in January to lose weight and have accomplished this goal. It has been a long and frustrating path. I have struggled with health issues, stress from work and periods where I just lacked commitment. Despite these and other challenges, I have managed to drop more than 20 pounds since January. Of course, my hope at the beginning of the year was to lose more than this, but the fact that I have actually accomplished part of my goal is really significant.

It was interesting for me to note that the majority of my weight loss happened after I returned home from vacation in July. I had committed to walking the Black Squirrel 5k with Maura and I knew that I needed to get conditioned for this. August was a great month. September didn't start out so wonderful because I had a sinus infection. The week leading up to the Black Squirrel was really bad because I had to work a lot of overtime due to the wind storm. When the 27th of September dawned, I was pretty exhausted.

Regardless of this fatigue, I had committed to the event and I was going to do it. I admit that I was not adequately prepared and by the time I hit heartbreak hill, which was early in the course, I was seriously questioning my sanity. I was thankful for two angels (Rhonda and Stephanie), who walked with me and helped me finish. It was hard. My pace was slow (about 21 minutes per mile). I was the last person to cross the finish line, but I finished and was proud of my accomplishment.

The best part of the event was when I was coming down the last big hill and I saw Maura, Mikayla and my niece, Cortney coming up the hill to greet me. They came to find me and walk me in. I had no idea how demanding this course would be and I was totally unprepared. As I pondered the event later that day, I realized that only the first few hundred feet and the last few hundred feet were flat. Everything else was either up or down hill. What a challenge. I told Maura, next year, we are training on those hills.

On the way home from this event, we drove through Winton Woods and discussed the possibility of doing the Run for the Nuns 5k which was the following Saturday. I was not sure I wanted to do any hills again so soon. Maura called the sponsors and found out that the course had been changed so we decided to go for it. I will save this experience for a future blog. I will say that doing the Run for the Nuns was the most fun I have had since I started this journey earlier this year.

For the past two weeks I have been very committed to my walking/jogging. I am working to build up my stamina for my upcoming cruise. The other day, Eric wanted to inspire me so he printed out my finish line pictures for all three 5k walks I have done. To my surprise, I could really see the difference in my body. I am thankful for the changes and I am looking forward to even more as I continue working toward reaching my fitness goals.

So, I am still a slow walker, but my pace is getting faster. I still want to complete the 10k at the Flying Pig in May. In January when I sat down and set my goals for this year, I never imagined where they would take me...but I am totally loving it!

This is me finishing the Flying Pig 5k on May 3rd.

This is me finishing the Black Squirrel on Sept. 27th. My nephew, Heston is cheering me on as I cross the finish line.

This is just before I crossed the finish line at the Run for the Nuns on Oct. 4th. I am celebrating beating my time from the previous week by almost 4 minutes.

I Didn't Know...

I realized a couple of weeks ago that it had been over a month since I had posted anything new. Although I felt guilty, my busy schedule did not permit me to remedy the situation until today. Yesterday as I was watching QVC--one of my favorite things to do--I heard a new term that I thought was blogworthy. The hostess was talking about how the recent economic challenges have made it more expensive for people to take traditional vacations. The consequence of this was that many were opting to stay home this summer and participate in recreational activities either at home or closer to home. She called this a "STAYCATION"!

Now, I don't know about you, but this concept is not new to me...I can remember as a child that our family took several staycations. In fact, most of the 21 years that Eric and I have been together, we have taken a staycation during the summer. Last year during our staycation we put the laminant floor in our computer room. It was both physically and mentally taxing for me and when it came time to return to work, I felt like I needed another week to recover. This was an especially good staycation because it came the closest to simulating how I feel when I have to return to work after a traditional vacation.

What a surprise for me to find out that all these years, I was just ahead of my time--and so were my parents! I'm guessing that there are plenty of you out there who were also ahead of your time--now we can rest easy because we know that we were veteren staycationers before it was chic!

Now of course, the best part of this new discovery would be if I could actually participate with "the crowd" in my own staycation this year. Truth be told, I would love to do this because I really enjoy being at home with Eric, my four kitties and my sweet doggie. Alas, I am sorry to say that once again, I am not going to be in vogue. I have already purchased tickets for TWO vacations this year! Oh, well.

Wow, I really did it!!! My Life Has Changed Forever

It was hard to do, but I did it! When I sat down to write out my goals for 2008, I never imagined I would find myself actually wanting to go downtown and be around a whole bunch of people walking in the rain. I started my walking program to help me lose weight. This has been particularly frustrating since it isn't happening the way I would like (but that is for another blog). When Maura mentioned walking the 5K at the Flying Pig Marathon, I thought, "ok, I can do this."

I worked really hard in January and February to get my walking distance up to 4 miles at time. In March I started having some health issues so cut back a bit and I completely stopped in April. I was very frustrated and wasn't even sure I would be able to do the 5K even up to last week. On Tuesday I made the decision that I had set this goal and I was going to do it even though I had not walked in over a month. I put in my slow walking DVD and managed to do 2 miles before I quit. I did ok so figured I would just go for it.

Friday at the Health Expo was a total blast. Maura and I checked in and picked up our posters, T-shirts and other goodies. We walked around and I just took in the atmosphere. At this point, I have to interject that I usually avoid crowds, events and the like so this was highly out of character for me. Maura was so knowledgeable about things and I loved her enthusiasm. It really lit my fire and made me eager for the events of the next day.

I hardly slept at all Friday night. We got up at 5am and were out to door by 6 to pick up Maura. We got downtown and parked in a great spot--I have to say here that this was my real fear--where to park so that Eric didn't have to do a ton of walking. I prayed that things would go well and they did. Shane told us exactly how to get where we wanted to be and we parked about as close to the action as you could get. Once we were there, I was more relaxed.

It was wet and drizzly when Maura started, but I really enjoyed cheering her on as she left. She inspired me so much and I was extremely proud of how well she finished. It was a highlight of my day to stand there at the "finish swine" and clap as she crossed. She totally rocks! It was fun to see all the cool stuff they had for the racers once they finished and it made me excited for my turn.

We went back to the car and hung out for a while. We ate snacks and watched the people walking by on the sidewalk. We could see that the rain was starting again--so much for the weather forecast that said the rain would be over by 9am! Silly weathermen!!! When it came time for my race, it was pouring down rain. I was really excited despite the wet conditions. The thing that impressed me the most was the participants...there were all kinds of people: young, old, skinny, not so skinny, people in wheelchairs and some were even blind. When Maura initially mentioned I should do this walk, she told me about all the different people who participated. Seeing it for myself, just drove home the point that everyone can participate if they want.

I started off strong and confident, the first mile was easy. Maura was talking to me and coaching me the whole way and I was so thankful. I could have done it alone, but she wanted to be there with me. Her encouragement helped me get through some really rough spots where I would have been tempted to quit. Before we got to the 2nd mile marker, I could feel the blisters starting to form on my feet because my socks were so wet. There was a point where the course was not marked well and we--like many others, because we were following the crowd (also a lesson for another blog) went the wrong way. We had to backtrack so that we could get back on course. We could see the finish line, but still had about half the course to run so we joked about going across, but decided we did not want to cheat ourselves from having the full experience. On we walked.

When I was nearing the "Finish Swine" Maura broke off from me and ran ahead to meet up with Eric. I was left to walk the last part on my own. It was at this point that I had two profound thoughts which brought tears to my eyes. The first was that I was actually going to accomplish my goal which made all the work and sacrifice worth the effort. The second thought was about the Savior when He atoned for our sins. When the suffering got difficult, an angel was sent to strengthen him, however, there was a point where he had to finish the task alone...and he did. Maura was the angel that strengthened me. She stayed with me until it was time for me to finish the race on my own.

This experience has changed my life forever. I am now really excited about walking and running other marathons. I have set a goal to run the 10K next year and I also want to walk the 5K with my sweetheart, Eric. My heart is full today as I contemplate the numerous blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me. Maura, you are the best. You were sent to me at a time when I really needed you.Thank you for your support and encouragement. To those of you reading this (since you have persevered to the end of this rather long posting) this is an open invitation to join us next year. We would love to share a walk/run with you.

A Fresh Perspective

This week marks the one year anniversary of my nephew, Louis, getting sick. For those of you who don't know the story, I will give you the highlights. Louis lived here in Ohio for about six years. He was raised as a member of the church but was not active as an adult. Louis and I have always had a close relationship and so during the time he lived here we relied on each other for help and support.
Last April, he went to Mercy hospital with pain in his abdomen. He was transferred to UC where they treated him for a blood clot in the main vein coming from his liver. He was doing pretty well with his treatment, however during a procedure there was a complication which caused him to go into respiratory and cardiac arrest. The doctors and nurses were able to bring him back, but were certain that he would not live. I was at the hospital when this happened and it reminded me a lot of what you see on tv.
We were blessed to have two worthy Priesthood holders working at the hospital that night who were able to administer to him. The blessing was beautiful and comforting to myself and also his mother. In the days and weeks that passed, Louis got stronger and eventually was able to be moved to a long term care facility in Utah so his mother could be close to home. In Nov. he came home from the nursing home and now lives with his parents.
He still has a long way to go. He cannot speak, but his facial expressions let you know what he is thinking. He requires constant monitoring, but he is home and he is happy. This brings me to my story for this week...I called my sister to see how she was doing and the Relief Society president answered the phone. At first I thought I had dialed a wrong number, but she assured me that I had not. She told me that Martha was busy with Louis and he was having a problem so they were taking him to the hospital.
Later that night, Martha called me to explain that Louis was choking on some mucous and they couldn't get it out. She shared with me how wonderful and calm his brother, John, was as he called 911 and explained that they needed help. She said that John looked at Louis and told him, "Louis, you stay here with us. You don't go to Grandma! Stay with us."
As I have thought about that statement the past few days I am amazed at John's perspective. He is 16 years old and he shares a large portion of the responsibility to care for his older brother. It would be easy for him to resent the time he has to sacrifice to care for Louis. It would be easy for him to resent the time that his mother has to spend taking care of Louis. My sister said she feared that they were going to lose Louis and she was sure that my mother was there during this episode.
I also know that this past year for Louis has been frustrating. One day he is healthy and able to go about living his life the way he wants and the next he is trapped in a body that won't work. I have wondered what impact John's words had on Louis. I have marvelled at the love John showed for Louis. Most of all, I am thankful because I understand how John came to love Louis so much.
When John was little, Louis was a lot older and he loved John and always went out of his way to do things with/for him. One might think that would be the reason, but the real reason that John begged Louis to stay with them is because he truly loves him. I believe this love came as a result of the example of my sister and my mother. My mother cared for my handicapped sister, Julie for 20 years and allowed each of us to take part in that. The privilege of caring for Julie is one that I treasure to this day. I miss her a lot. Martha now is doing the same thing as she teaches her children while they care for Louis.
I know for a fact that we love those we serve and there can be no greater blessing than this. I am so thankful for John's insightful words..."Stay here with us." Don't feel like you need to leave just because you are tired, frustrated, too much trouble, or you think we are tired and frustrated. We will take care of you because we love you. We want you here with us. What a different world it would be if more people understood the power of unconditional love. Thank you John, for giving me a fresh perspective.