Today in nursery, I brought a Tupperware shape ball toy for the class. As we sat on the blanket, I handed each child a different shaped piece. Then, one by one I put the ball in front of each child with the matching opening on top to help them put the piece inside. As I watched what happened next it made me think about my own life...
Some of the children followed my prompting and tried to put the piece into the space I was showing them but they were not sucessful because it was slightly twisted and it didn't match the opening. Of these, some persisted to follow my instructions and eventually got the piece to go in the opening and others started looking for and trying to put the piece into another opening.
Some of the children didn't pay any attention to what I was showing them and immediately tried to get the piece to fit into a different space. It became frustrating for me because I was trying to help them and they weren't listening.
Some of the children were excited about taking a turn with the toy and others didn't really care at all if they got the piece in the correct place. It didn't take long before I was ready to put the toy away!
As I reflected on this experience this afternoon, I wondered how many times Heavenly Father has become frustrated with me. In the past few weeks, I have been struggling with some health issues and I have been extremely frustrated. I have prayed and asked for help. I have had Priesthood blessings. I have acted on the things I have been instructed to do and nothing changed. This past week, my patience was exhausted. It was 3am on Tuesday morning and I had had all I was going to take. I was on my knees issuing an ultimatum: Solve this problem or else! (and the "or else" was that I would work all week because I have to and I would rest all day Saturday and Sunday and I wouldn't be going to church). I did feel somewhat guilty about throwing a temper tantrum, but I was really tired. I have since repented of the tantrum.
In the hours and days that followed, I got the answers I was needing. How thankful I am that despite my temper tantrum, I was blessed by a Heavenly Father that loves me. In thinking about my experience today, I know I had the right pieces to the puzzle, they were just slightly askew. Instead of adjusting each of the pieces, I was looking for a different opening that fit the way I had them arranged. After humbling myself and making some alterations I was able to see some changes. As these changes came, I expressed my gratitude for the blessing.
I had planned to attend an all day stamping party yesterday, but instead spent the day in bed getting the rest my body needed. I know this was the place I needed to be even though I wanted to be with my friends. I knew it was important that I have the strength to be in the nursery class and that if I have to work all week and sleep all day Saturday so that I can be there on Sunday then that is what I will do.
Nursery today went pretty well. I am confident that there is much good being accomplished and that is why I am experiencing such opposition. Corrie's talk in Sacrament meeting today was very uplifting. With my current struggles and stress, I know I need to be in church each week. I also know that Heavenly Father will give me the strength to be there. I am hopeful that in time, I will get all the pieces into the ball and everything thing will be in the correct order. I just have to be patient and listen to His instructions.